wow..one mth since i last made an entry..i'm been busy trying to settle everything but still not done yet...
i just feel so lost now..my parents have been bugging me to find a job so that i wouldn't be at home all the time, sitting in front of the comp from morning to night..lol..you may ask what can i do in front of the comp from day to night everyday?? Dl stuff, watch it, chat, translating stuff, burn cds, and while waiting read the newspaper or eat or do some chores etc...you may ask again: "Aren't you bored??" Me:"No, in fact, i feel the happiest when i'm in front of the comp"...i'm already so used to this that i dread going out of the house.. so much so that i hate looking for jobs and all(ok, most) i see are those recruit express jobs on the newspaper and i hate it hate it hate it..reminds me of that time about 9 mths ago...i hate it even more so now b'cos i have no one to accompany me..my sis has already found a job working at a bookshop nearby..its not much cos its a shift thing and there's a limit to the no. of hours one can work(too many part-timers maybe) but its still a job right?(she's gonna look for another one)...i cannot go with her cos she has her friends(she did ask me to go with her friends, she didn't want that particular job but its so awkward-_-''') and i tend to make her angry a lot when it comes to matters that need a decision..i think too much and give uncertain answers most of the time..she even say i speak too slowly..lol...i love my life as a hermit but i know, i understand that i cannot live the rest of my life like this..i need to be independent, need to improve, need to get a job, get a life, get myself together..yes i know..but its so hard to make that first step..and when ever i think of this i cannot control myself and start crying..think negative thoughts..and i'm kinnda giving up on retaking...please don't ask me what plans do i haf..i will tell you all when i am 100% sure, ok? please and thanz for your patience and support all this time...