Friday, December 28, 2007

Please find me on facebook.

To whoeva's reading this,

So you can probably see by now, this blog of mine is no longer active.
If you need to contact me, please email me @ k_kJkTnt@hotmail.com.
or you can look for me on facebook.

Kai Jun ^_^

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Rain rain rain go away~ go away~ >___<

still running..it rains from morning till night nnight till morning..i wonder what's gonna happen this year..heard alot of unauspicious things related to this long raining spell...like its was also raining like this last year after(or was it b4?) the tsunami, like it was raining like this when some one's who who who died...*shakes head*...i'm trying very hard to get some things done but in this weather and my current body condition, i really just wanna lie in bed and sleep n do nothing but that would be wasting my holiday(today)..argh...btw, do you guys know about the O levels being pushed forward to mid Feb(i think) instead of end feb/early march and b'cos of this i have had to endure my sis's 90% of the time pissed-off mood..i'll just avoid her totally whenever possible..its such a chore to do that and i'm always tip-toeing around her so as not to step on her tail..i'm so tired from work and i still have to be so cautious around my sis..oh yeah, i was talking about the O levels result release date..yeah its been pushed forward cause the gov would like to implement single intake for JC and polys in the year 2009, so they are slowly pushing the dates forward..i read somewhere that they do so so that the students don't have to wait a few months to get into the JC or Poly of their choice, and its oso better for Poly students who ususally do not get to apply for Uni the same time as the JC students as their results come out after the dateline of the registration date, so if all goes as planned Poly students will not have to wait a year to apply for Uni; hence, they can finish Uni earlier and enter the workforce earlier too...in a way that's good when you have an idea of what you want for your future, but i feel that it has deprived the later batch of students in some ways...they will not be able to hold any 'proper' temp jobs(those 3-mth contract type) anymore as they wouldn't have time for that at all when just a mth or so after their exams they will have to decide on JC, polys, etc etc..unless you already have a part-time job, its most prob that the students will be too lazy to go find some work to do, unless they are really cash strapped...haiz, so now, for this year, the JC 2nd intake will be pushed to March instead of the usual April and Polys to April instead of June..die la..in this case i'm thinking of giving up Poly as a option for further studies...and rethinking my re-taking As option but i don't feel any motivation to study for As lei, so it may be a waste of time and $$$...

More about Work:
I was only doing filings and i learnt about updating the application forms on the 3rd day(basically just update the date it was sent in) and just yesterday i learnt about updating some more complicating things that i'm kinnda blur about now..>.<..however, its learning new things ^_^...i'm starting to bring bento to work for tmr and the day after cos its raining like siao and i hate going out >.<...i made 2 dishes actually but i think its too much so i'm just gonna bring one tmr and one the day after, don't think i'm bringing for fri cos i'm going out with jas for dinner! can't wait! but i have nothing to wear! argh..its been raining so much i don't have the mood to go out and shop much..but once i get out..my wallet wanna go home XDDD...

K..gotta go pack my bento now~ Ja ne~ *hugzzzz* XD

Saturday, January 07, 2006

RainRainRainGoAway~

Rants on $$$ troubles +bad mood: (Warning! Stay away if you don't wanna see this)
*sign* it rains everyday for the past week!!! Plus i'm in a super sian mood now la...just got my pay yesterday(YEAH!!! XDDD) and was planning to go perm my hair tmr but from the looks of things, i'm most prob gonna push that backwards cos i already spent half of what i got yesterday liao TT-TT...haiz..maybe i shouldn't have bought those 2 bags and 2 belts and necklace TT-TT..die ahhhh..still have CNY clothes haven't buy yet lor...and i so wan a mp3 player now lor b'cos my work is so boring but busy la so nvm..worse is boring and nothing to do...-___- ->i'm like that 90% of the time, half asleep...and i bought my sis's new hp to use on fri but it went dead on me after 2 hours+ cos forgot to recharge it the night b4...haiz haiz haiz...was planning to save some $$$ to buy a mp3 player and maybe buy contacts but i guess i may have to wait for that too...blehhhh..why can't the end of the month be now instead of 3 weeks later T-T...oh wait...maybe i cannot even use a mp3 player at work but i doubt the 'boss' there will object lei...i wonder..so should i buy or not..hmmm..i can hardly open my eyes & think & type now, i'm gonna go take a nap now...see ya~ Kyotsukete ne Minna-san~ Mata ne~ ...*goes off to dream of loads and loads of shit*-->cos they say dreaming of shit means you will get a windfall soon..lol...haha...*collapse* z Z z Z Z Z

Monday, January 02, 2006

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

i wanted to change the layout for the new year but still didn't make it in time TT-TT..oh well, i have another 3 weeks to the Chinese new year..i'll try my best to get one done by then..ahahahaaa*faints from the codes html css etc etc @.@*..hmmm..i realise that this is kinnda getting into a habit..me posting only like once a month..but oh well, its not like there's a lot of interesting things happening in my life right now...

Btw, for those who don't know yet, i'm starting work in Minstry of Manpower from tmr until july(assuming all goes well, *cross fingers*) as a assistant officer..erm..its nothing much la..bascially filling documents and searching for documents for those who need it, and running errands etc..i heard i wun even need a comp so its really more like a helper there..lol..oh well..i just wan to earn $$$...my work hours are Mon-thurs 8.30-6 and Fri 8.30-5.30, not to forget i have to give tuition to my cousin at marsling on one weekday night..most prob a fri night i guess then..btw, for those interrested, MOM's near chinatown point, Apollo centre that area ^^..heard from chein the food's cheap and filling..hopefully someone will bring me around for lunch..i don't wan to be alone..but i don't wan to be a burden either >.<..first day tmr!!! Scared >.<...argh..need to sleep but can't sleep >.<

More rants on work searching:
actually, i got the offer from the translation company that i mentioned in the previous post but the pay's lesser..after thinking about it i took the MOM job instead cos the MOM is more convient(direct bus) too, and more reliable..i actually got the translation company offer 2 days b4 i went for the MOM interview and the agency called me just 2 hours after my interview at MOM to inform me that i got shortlisted..i was working at the Child care centre at that time and i was really shocked..i couldn't answer her asap and explained that i got another offer too..so i was given until the next day to decide which job to choose.. ..and a few days later, i got a call from the company at senoko for another job offer...
...lol..then the day i went to sign the contract at the agency, i was told that it was my last day..it surprised me at first but i got over it fast maybe cos i already have a "back-up" and went out with jas for sakae sushi after work..i'm like so hooked to sushi and sashimi now *Droolssss* XD~~~~~~~...and mahjong too! hehehe..another session at chein's place this sat! Muahahahaa..she said she's gonna have 2 tables that day...i can't wait!!!..and it was a great shopping trip to M'sia with chein and jas last thurs! i wanna go there again!!!..lol..poor chein...XDDDDDD

Ps.for those interrested in my 'studies'(or the lack of it in fact), the retaking 'A's choice is almost totally out now...

Friday, December 02, 2005

useless?unlucky?picky?

so far..ALL of the jobs that i've worked are all introduced to me by my frens or my sis's frens..i've never eva gotten a job which i tried to get from the newspapers...oh well,this is a recently(last week) i sent out a whole lot of resumes(to about 8-10 companys ads, from 2 days's recuit section) and only got 2 replies of which one wants a perm staff so that was a failure..the other, i though i had high chances cos i was so stupid/braindead(after i missed the bus stop and went all the way to Clementi when i was suppposed to go Bkt Batok Cresent, wasted abt 40 mins i think, and got blisters too, cos had to walk a long way back to take the bus abck to the right busstop) that i put $6/hr for expected salary and that will add up to about $960/mth if i work a 5D week..lol..and i thought the interveiwer that i m interested in what the company does..but later then i realise i really didn't have much confidence in my skills, when the person asked me if i could do this, do that, I was like "I think i can(my chinese language skills..i said i'm average cos i'm really weak at writing..), i'll try my best(for like invoice etcs..i really have NO idea how to do invoice so i said i'll try my best)"..and when i stood up to go off, i saw the previous candidate's expected salary->$1700/mth..O.O...i guess that's a failure too then...the first one i didn't really care much cos it was way Too Hard(senoko area, no bus inside at all..and i was lost i got a taxi to bring me in insteadT-Tmy $$$) to get there and i kinda don't like the way it felt in the office..whereas for the second one i think it was a new branch or something cos it only had the person who interviewed me there, a small office room, but the most interesting thing is the company itself- a translation company whose clients include MOE, MOH, Dell...etc(that was all i could remember >.<)..i really wanna see how they work..but i haf a feelign that's not gonna happen..well, at least i m kindda working now..at a 'learning centre', which is bascially a child care centre, b'cos they need a extra helper for Dec, recommended by my sis's fren..the pay is really really T-T(low)..but it is very easy work after all...but i feel as if i could earn more if i get another job but..the point is i haf to GET it first..so even though i really feel like quiting that learning centre job, i'm so scared i'll end up jobless and regret my decision...well, i'm now focusing my search on the really really part-time section so that i'll not waste time and $$$ on the meaningless ones(perm)...i am really really $$$ hungry now...so many things to pay for...to save for...lol..and i've realyl wasted a lot of $$$ on the transport fees alone..i just don't know what to do now...well, i'll just kept going for interviews etc and contribute to the transport sector(or is it economy? i'm so braindead now..the right way was supposed to take 30-45 mins to reach home BUT i took the wrong direction and reached home only 2hrs...after i worked 3 hours at the centre today..so the time i spent to travel and the time i worked is almost the same..lol..but the transport fess this whole week is more than what i earned today and i'm gonna go out with my sis tmr T-T..no $$$ la~)..my sis thinks i'm too greedy when i told her that $6/hr is average outside..she said i'm trying to look for high pay jobs..i have no energy to argue(which will most likely lead to a quarrel) with her..oh well, better sleep now..have a long day tmr..work from 9-1, then go out with sis..i'll go dream of $$$ now..since thats about the only way i can get it for now..i'll get it, i must get it...anyways, please pardon any spelling, grammatic errors etc...i'm too tired to change it..btw, saw the X'mas deco in Orchard road(told you i told the worng direction..lol)...i felt nothing at all...k..better really sleep now...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

wow..one mth since i last made an entry..i'm been busy trying to settle everything but still not done yet...
i just feel so lost now..my parents have been bugging me to find a job so that i wouldn't be at home all the time, sitting in front of the comp from morning to night..lol..you may ask what can i do in front of the comp from day to night everyday?? Dl stuff, watch it, chat, translating stuff, burn cds, and while waiting read the newspaper or eat or do some chores etc...you may ask again: "Aren't you bored??" Me:"No, in fact, i feel the happiest when i'm in front of the comp"...i'm already so used to this that i dread going out of the house.. so much so that i hate looking for jobs and all(ok, most) i see are those recruit express jobs on the newspaper and i hate it hate it hate it..reminds me of that time about 9 mths ago...i hate it even more so now b'cos i have no one to accompany me..my sis has already found a job working at a bookshop nearby..its not much cos its a shift thing and there's a limit to the no. of hours one can work(too many part-timers maybe) but its still a job right?(she's gonna look for another one)...i cannot go with her cos she has her friends(she did ask me to go with her friends, she didn't want that particular job but its so awkward-_-''') and i tend to make her angry a lot when it comes to matters that need a decision..i think too much and give uncertain answers most of the time..she even say i speak too slowly..lol...i love my life as a hermit but i know, i understand that i cannot live the rest of my life like this..i need to be independent, need to improve, need to get a job, get a life, get myself together..yes i know..but its so hard to make that first step..and when ever i think of this i cannot control myself and start crying..think negative thoughts..and i'm kinnda giving up on retaking...please don't ask me what plans do i haf..i will tell you all when i am 100% sure, ok? please and thanz for your patience and support all this time...

Friday, October 28, 2005

Some thoughts to share...

I was thinking about the future so that i can move closer towards finally settling on somethings i mentioned a few weeks ago (refer to the entry Announcements)..actually to tell the truth i am doubtful about really aiming to get into NIE becuase actually, i'm not really 100% interested in the teaching aspect of the job(lol) but more of participating in the activites with the students such as CIP, CCAs, enrichment courses, exchange programmes..darn..i remember chancing upon an article which mentions that the MOE is planning to have such special jobs in the future so as to lessen the teachers' adminstrative and other jobs other than teaching(eg, CCA etc) but i lost the article..arghhhh...well anyways i was thinking that well, a librarian seems like quite a suitable job for me too..i mean..not part-time..but full-time(at least a few years hopefully and if its a school librarian even better ^_^)..so i went online to search for more info such as what can i study? logistics??? LOL...then i found this blog community of librarians and i'm currently reading this blog " Rambling Librarian :: Incidental Thoughts of a Singapore Liblogarian"(http://ramblinglibrarian.blogspot.com/)..there's a feature on "Questions about becoming a librarian" and i found this article below very interesting and motivating..I've underlines the main points so if u are in a rush, at least read those.

Taken entirely from the Standford University news website.

Stanford Report, June 14, 2005

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.